Forever in Me Page 4

  I felt Gabriel's hand stroking my back.

  - Was it the hamburger that hurt you?

  I was vomiting so much I could hardly breathe, I couldn't answer him.

  Even after putting everything out, the urge did not pass.

  Before I lost consciousness, I felt a strong taste of blood filling my mouth.

  Gabriel

  F

  rom that day on, life took an unexpected turn. There were several visits to hospitals, doctors and a multitude of tests performed.

  All Ariel felt were symptoms of something devastating.

  Until, finally, I heard words that broke my heart.

  Stomach cancer.

  Metastasis.

  Advanced stage.

  It had already spread to several parts of his body. For the first time in our life, my love would not be enough for Ariel.

  22 Years Old

  GABRIEL

  I watched Ariel's downcast face as he slept. Physically, it didn't look much like the handsome young man from the beginning of last year. He was very thin, with deep dark circles and a shaved head. But he was still my Ariel. His body could have changed, but his soul and spirit would always be the same.

  These past few weeks had been more difficult than usual. He spent most of his time sleeping and hardly ate . I was still trying to do everything possible to cheer him up. Last week I managed to take him to the children's wing where he was having a painting workshop sponsored by his father. I know it was exhausting for him, but seeing his genuine smile was all I needed to see that I did the right thing.

  At the beginning of the treatment he spent a lot of time there, teaching the children to paint. But as the months went by, his body became weaker and weaker, preventing him from moving without a wheelchair. The cancer spread quickly to reach his spine.

  Even though he was so weak, he never complained. He did not complain about food or even pain. At least not with me.

  I stroked his thin face and kissed his forehead. He was still a little feverish from a urinary tract infection.

  - I felt like the sleeping beauty now, being awakened by the kiss of the green prince.

  - He's a blue prince.

  - The prince is mine so he will be the color I want.

  - You are in charge, Princess Bela.

  - It's Aurora.

  - The princess is mine so I call her the way I want.

  - Good point.

  I took his hand and kissed it. He was so thin that the ring was loose on his finger, but he did not give up wearing it on the string that was always around his neck.

  - How are you today?

  - Good. Just waking up and seeing you makes me feel better.

  - Does it hurt somewhere? Are you hungry? Want to sit down?

  Ariel laughed at my questions.

  - No. No. No.

  - It's all right. If you need anything, tell me.

  - Okay - he replied, rolling his eyes.

  - I have two great news.

  I took the folder I had brought with me and pulled out the sheet of waxed paper.

  - This is still just an outline, but I shouldn't change much. Unless you want.

  I held it out to him and he looked at it for several minutes. He observed all the details, touching each room with his fingertips.

  "It's perfect," said Ariel with tears in his eyes. - There's even an exclusive studio for me.

  - Yes. - I pointed to the next room. - And here, it will be my office. Did you see? It has an independent entrance from the gallery. I can work close to you.

  He took my hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly.

  - Thank you for making my dream come true.

  - Let's go slow, little grasshopper. You still need a graduated architect to sign the plan. Unfortunately I don't have the license yet.

  - Even so. You did it the way I imagined.

  - The other news is that I got a release for you the day after tomorrow. Your father bought a land closer to the cultural area of the city. I want to show you where exactly your gallery will be.

  - Wow, Gabs. It’s yours too.

  He closed his eyes for a few moments and reopened them.

  - Are you tired?

  - A little. And I'm hungry too.

  - What do you want to eat?

  - Grape.

  This time of year was not easy to find grapes, but I would find a way. Due to his lack of appetite, the doctor allowed us to sometimes bring food from outside and I believe that some grapes would not hurt.

  - I will get it.

  I got up to leave, but Ariel held my hand to stop me.

  - Where is my kiss?

  I kissed his lips lightly. I repeated the gesture on his forehead. The fever had risen. I would notify the reception to check on him.

  At the bedroom door I turned.

  - I will not be long.

  - It's a promise?

  - Of course.

  - I love you.

  - I love you, too.

  As I bought the grapes, I felt a tightness in my chest. Two days from now would be Ariel's 23rd birthday. I prepared a surprise in our apartment. I would take him there after passing through our gallery grounds.

  I arrived at his floor at the hospital and saw a strange movement. When I turned into the corridor of his room, I noticed that the movement was coming from there.

  I ran to his room and saw the nurse in charge of his ward and the doctor on duty.

  - Time of death, fourteen hours and twenty-five minutes.

  The box I carried with me slid out of my hands, causing the green grapes to roll around the room.

  I grabbed Ariel's hand, still warm.

  - Ariel please wake up! - I asked desperately. - I brought your grapes!

  Tears fell from my eyes, blurring my vision.

  I turned to the doctor and begged for help.

  - Please, doctor! Bring him back to me! I beg you!

  - I can't, Gabriel. It was his request not to be resurrected if he died. He signed a term.

  I clung to Ariel's lifeless body and hugged him very tightly.

  This cannot be true.

  - Ariel don't leave me! I need you!

  As much as I pressed him against my body and begged him to stay with me, his arms did not enveloped me in return.

  And they would never do it again.

  23 Years Old

  GABRIEL

  2 months later

  Today is my 23rd birthday. Today is 2 months since Ariel has gone.

  I was lying on the makeshift bed in his studio. I spent most of the time there. I couldn't find the strength to do anything. I was completely empty.

  My parents offered to stay with me, but I didn't want to. I didn't want anyone there to take away the smell that the apartment still had. His scent. Each day that passed it was getting weaker, but I still felt it.

  My mother sometimes came to bring food and clean the house, despite my protests. I also knew that Ariel's parents were paying the house bills because there was still electricity and water.

  I couldn't believe it. Even though his condition was terminal, I had hopes that he would heal. While lying down I hugged a shirt from him that I had taken home to wash. His scent was also fading.

  I really wanted to disappear, too. If that happened, would I be with him?

  I heard the apartment door open. It should be my mother. She no longer bothered to ring the bell or call. I wouldn't answer.

  The door to the studio opened slowly and to my surprise, Ariel's father walked through it.

  I hadn't seen him since the funeral. He was clearly dejected.

  Sitting next to me, he rubbed my head.

  - How are you, my son?

  I shrugged my shoulders. Since his death, I haven't been able to speak. I was afraid to open my mouth and start screaming in despair.

  - Sorry I didn't come before to see you. My wife was very ill. - He continued to stroke my head. - Your mother called me. Your parents are very concerned about you. We all a
re.

  He started to cry. It must have been difficult for him to come to his dead son's house.

  - Please, Gabriel. Do not give up. I can't lose another child, ”he said between sobs. - We all love you.

  I got up and hugged him. How could I be causing him more pain? Fat tears flowed and rolled down my face.

  - Do it for him. And for us, too.

  We stayed in this hug for a long time until he walked away. He turned to the side, took a box and handed it to me.

  - I should have given you this before, but I thought you weren't ready yet.

  I took the box from him and placed it on my lap as he stood up.

  - I need to go now. But I will come back. I also want to ask you a favor, keep the apartment. It's yours. Let me take care of the only child I have left.

  I nodded my head. I was really thinking about getting out of there. But I didn't want to abandon everything that Ariel and I built together.

  He kissed my head and left the apartment.

  I opened the box and found a sketchbook, Ariel's cord and a letter with my name on it. It was his handwriting.

  I opened the envelope with shaking hands:

  Gabs,

  I can't be with you anymore. At least not physically.

  I know that our time together was very short, but I doubt that anyone who has lived a long life has received a third of the love you gave me in the ten years we spent together.

  And so I feel selfish about having to ask you a few things, even so I will. And I ask that you strive to fulfill them. For me.

  Do not give up. Never. There are many people besides me who love you and depend on you.

  Go after your dreams and make them come true. Do not waste your time or your life. Live for me.

  And mostly, be happy. If you are happy, I will be too.

  Thank you for all your love and dedication. I promise that one day I will repay them.

  You were my first and only love. I love you.

  I'll be waiting for you until our reunion. Just don't come too fast.

  Note: You always mumbled that I never drew or painted you. But I was ashamed to show you. This notebook is proof that since I met you, you have never left my thoughts.

  I've written this before, but I want to repeat it one last time

  I love you.

  With all the love in the world

  Ariel

  I hugged the letter with one hand and with the other I took the notebook.

  There were a myriad of drawings on it. The first had the date of the day we met. They were of different styles and different dates. I could see all the stages that I went through there. The only thing that always seemed constant was their angelic air. I was always portrayed as an angel.

  In one of them there were the words ‘Guardian Angel’.

  I hugged the notebook and cried. I cried, screamed, cursed.

  Everything I hadn't done before. I put out all the pain I was feeling.

  After a few hours I calmed down.

  For the first time in weeks, I left the room and went to take a shower.

  After leaving, I went back to the studio, put on Ariel's necklace and took the floor plan from the gallery.

  I pulled the table in the room over to the window and sat there.

  I wanted to make some adjustments to make it look perfect.

  While changing some rooms I looked out the window. It was already dark. There was one star in particular that caught my eye. I don't know if it was my imagination, but it glowed green. I closed my eyes and spoke directly to him.

  Now you are my guardian angel. Take care of me until we meet again. I love you, too. And I will love for my whole life.

  I felt my stomach complaining of hunger. It was the first time in a long time that I felt this.

  I went to the kitchen to get something my mother had prepared.

  Tomorrow I would call MY college and see how I could recover the classes I lost.

  I couldn't waste any more time. I had a gallery to build.

  28 Years Old

  GABRIEL

  I

  went through all the rooms for the thousandth time. I wanted everything to be perfect. I looked at the clock and it was almost five in the afternoon. The opening would be at six o'clock, but I needed everything ready at least an hour in advance.

  I went through the huge hall mirror and checked my moss green suit. It was a little extravagant for me, but it was a special occasion. The silver chain stood out a lot in it. I always took it with me.

  I went to the buffet and saw that everything was already in advance. Now I just needed to calm down.

  Suddenly a glass of passion fruit juice appeared in front of me.

  -Thanks, Dad, I said to Ariel's dad. - Didn't my parents come with you?

  - My wife went to get them. I came forward to help you.

  After Ariel left, his father asked him to call him that. At first I felt uncomfortable, I didn't want to be a substitute for Ariel. But he, realizing my reluctance, confided that he had always seen me as a son. And that he loved me as much as he loved Ariel.

  He could have left, but he gave me an amazing family.

  - I've checked everything several times. I think I'm going to go crazy with anxiety.

  - I took a walk before I came to you. Everything is perfect. I'm sure he would love it.

  - Me too.

  - I thought the permanent exhibition would be in the main room. But I saw in the calendar that It will be there just for today.

  - I thought a lot and I think that Ariel would like all the artists that come by to have an outstanding day. Tomorrow I will move it to the green room.

  - Ah! - He said putting his hand on his head.

  - I brought you a present.

  He picked up a package that was leaning against the wall.

  - Your father was tidying up your room and found it. I took it and had it framed.

  Inside the package was the first drawing I had seen of Ariel. The dog died a long time ago, but in that drawing he was immortalized.

  - Are you going to put it on display?

  - No. This is just for my eyes. - I embraced the painting with affection. - I'll put it in my office.

  It would be next to the one of the only drawing that was in the notebook of the two of us together.

  It took me five long years to realize Ariel's dream. In fact, it had become mine, too.

  I was sure the gallery would be successful. I don't know how, but our story ended up spreading, making his paintings superfluous. I had already received absurd proposals to sell them, but I wanted everyone to have the opportunity to see his work.

  I also gave several interviews telling how I created the gallery for the love of my life. At first I felt uncomfortable telling our story, but then I realized that this would be perfect marketing. So there was a huge line of people waiting to meet our dream.

  I tightened the ring around my neck and thanked Ariel for the man I am today.

  Thank you for loving me.

  The rest of my family arrived and I showed them the place before we opened. His mother was thrilled and hugged me thanking me for everything.

  When it was a minute before six, I went to the entrance to greet the visitors.

  I looked at the neon green sign and smiled. Many people would not understand the name I chose, but there was no way to be another. It summed up the destiny that united us.

  The entrance opened and I greeted the first visitor.

  - Welcome to El's.

  Thanks

  W

  riting this story was very difficult and painful for me. I know that many people think that authors have the power to change the direction of their characters, but often the stories are already finished in our minds. And this was no different. It came to me like lightning and I stopped everything I was doing to put it on paper. Despite the difficulty, I loved writing it, even though I stopped to cry a few times. And for that reason, I’d like, first, to thank you, who came her
e and suffered with me. Thank you for living a few hours with my boys.

  I wanted to thank Drak, my partner in crime, who helped me a lot in this story (the illustration and new cover were a gift from her). Thanks viada lindaaa!

  My eternal Baby Girl Glay Costa for always being present (even from a distance) and making this story accessible to everyone. I owe you one more hug ❤️

  To Tici Pontes for the tips. It made my story more believable.

  To Ritinha from Coruja translations for hugging my boys and making them accessible to more people.

  To my honorary Bunnies (partners) who support my work. You are amazing!

  And thanks to you for reading this far! See you soon!

  COMING SOON

  - 1st place among the best sellers on Amazon in its category

  - 4th place in the overall ranking of Amazon

  - Sold out at the Book Biennial (The largest and most important book fair in Brazil).

  Can love heal a shattered soul or will it just throw it deeper into the abyss?

  Lucas just wanted to find his place in the world. Love and be loved like anyone else.

  But he learned that regardless of who you are, love always hurts.

  CLARA ARTEMIS is from Rio de Janeiro, writing for her has always been a very present dream since childhood. She is passionate about books, manga and animes that tell romances between boys, she likes it so much that she had to write her own book. She believes that true love overcomes all difficulties and breaks down barriers, regardless of color, race or gender. Love heals all wounds. Clara wants, through her books, to bring a new

  vision for homo-affective novels

  KNOW MORE

  Instagram: @editoraserpentine

  Instagram: @claraartemis

  Facebook: Author Clara Artemis

  Twitter: @autoraclara